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The Art of Texting: How to Keep a Conversation Going With Someone New

Plenty of chats start well and then fizzle after a few messages. Keeping a conversation going is a skill, and like any skill it comes down to a few habits. Here is how to keep the back and forth alive without it feeling like work.

Ask, then share

The best conversations bounce. Ask a question, listen to the answer, then offer something of your own before asking the next one. If you only ask, it feels like an interview. If you only talk, it feels like a monologue.

Follow the thread

When someone mentions something interesting, pull on it. If they say they just got back from a trip, ask about it. The easiest next question is almost always hiding in their last answer.

Match their energy

Some people write long messages, others keep it short. Meeting people where they are makes them comfortable. Mirror the length and tone, at least at first.

Avoid dead-end questions

Questions that end in yes or no stall the flow. Swap did you have a good day for what was the best part of your day. A small change invites a much bigger answer.

Let it breathe

Not every silence needs filling, and not every chat needs to last an hour. A good conversation has a natural rhythm. If it is winding down, that is fine. You can always skip and start fresh.

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